So who, after all, is this mysterious lady “Sandy”? How did she manage to shake the universe without us ever even seeing her, eclipsing even the now-legendary Annie Alexiou?
Judging by the testimony of Judge Christodoulou, this young woman managed, through a brief acquaintance with him, to delve deeply into and master all the problems that have plagued Cyprus for decades. Even if what she ultimately produced were not revelations but the draft of a novel, it would still be worthy of praise. We are, after all, counting time and marvelling at the scale of the phenomenon. We are not talking about a single meeting with the learned judge, perhaps two, but something that science itself is still struggling to explain.
Three meetings, the honourable Judge Christodoulou told us, held to advise her, support her and encourage her, like a daughter. A generous soul, the judge. One meeting in an apartment, one in a park and one in a restaurant. And from this modest trilogy of social encounters emerged, as if by miracle, 500 messages. Not just messages. An entire epic.
We ordinary mortals, journalists and professional gossip-mongers, need years in the field, dozens of sources, endless coffees, phone calls and the familiar “tell me something off the record”, and still struggle to separate gossip from news. And along comes Ms “Sandy”, takes three strolls – one in a living room, one on the grass and one next to a menu – and returns with a complete dossier.
And not just any dossier. A full archive of national and historical importance. With photographs, audio recordings, evidence of accounts and transfers, and all the gossip of Cypriot politicians. With details about the private lives of judges and information that does not even circulate in journalistic huddles. She even told us about Greek politicians, whom, admittedly, we did not manage to get to know ourselves. May inspiration be blessed, but how much imagination does it take for Ms “Sandy” from Geri to know Mylonakis, Parlavantzas and their phone numbers, as well as Cypriots Papadakis and Morphakis? Parlavantzas is hard enough to pronounce, let alone track down, discuss millions with and call a close friend.
This is not a matter of simple intelligence. We are talking about an evolutionary leap that Darwin himself would surely have recorded in his book on the origin and evolution of species. We are talking about an IQ that cannot be measured by tests but by productivity in messages per meeting. In short, Dr Nikos Lygeros, who has declared an IQ of 189, fades into the background. And what can one say about Albert Einstein? Were he alive today, he would probably be asking for an interview with “Sandy”.
The question, beyond our own speculation, remains: what exactly happened in those three meetings? Was there Wi‑Fi of a higher spiritual dimension? Did some information portal open, a wormhole from beyond, or did imagination simply find room to flourish and write better than a seasoned reporter?
In any case, one thing is certain. If such talent exists out there, we should make use of it. If three meetings and 500 messages solved the problem of corruption, perhaps four could solve the Cyprus problem. “Sandy” should immediately join the Cyprus talks team under Constantinos Kombos, push ahead swiftly with convergences, or take over the post held by Ms Eirini Piki, who coordinates 10 ministries with a handful of A8 officers.
Sadly, no one informs us, so thank goodness for Phileleftheros, which ensures we are not left in the dark. Because if we relied solely on those three meetings, and on when Arnoutis might deign to speak, we would still be wondering. Now, however, we have a steady flow of information. Proper. Daily. Like a soap opera with episodes.
Reporting with names and addresses. From the mouths of Arnoutis and Fytiris, with commentary from Nikos Christodoulides himself, Phileleftheros brings into our homes every day what “Sandy” says and, in combo pieces, the prophecies of Nostradamus and Saint Paisios of Farasa, with commentary by Tsakkas. And to complete the picture, Nicos Anastasiades enters the frame. A panel that, if you saw it on television, would make you say, “something big is coming”.
And indeed, something big is coming. The truth. Soon it will emerge, served ready, garnished with explanations and accompanied by “it’s not what it looks like”. Because all these people know. Or at least they know they must appear to know.
Low expectations
The average Cypriot, between us, is keeping expectations low. Not out of malice. Out of experience. The script is familiar. First the revelation, then the denial, then the correction, and finally, “let’s leave it there”. We see it with the investigation by the Anti-Corruption Authority, which was meant to conclude in six months and has now dragged on for two years, with Judge Poyiadjis still searching for the colours.
At that point, the big players enter the game. Europol and the Federal Bureau of Investigation. For reassurance, they say. To add an international touch. To make us feel that this is not just a local fantasy with 500 episodes, but something that concerns global decision-making centres. This, Nikos Christodoulides will explain at the next summit, noting that because of “Sandy” and Annie, Cyprus has become the navel of the Earth, the new Oracle of Delphi. And if one adds the prophecies of Neophytos of Morphou about a new nuclear holocaust, it could well be recognised as the world’s largest news agency.
And if, let us say, something does not go as planned? If a detail goes missing, a message gets mixed up, inspiration deflates? Well then, the emergency exit is ready. “Europol is investigating.” “The FBI is involved.” There is always a bigger office to carry the burden.
Until then, we remain here. With Lady “Sandy”, the 500 messages and the three meetings that made history. Because, at the end of the day, we may never learn exactly what was said, but we will certainly have heard everything.
