Fine Arts Award
The Fine Arts Award goes to DISY deputy leader Euthymios Diplaros for his timely interventions in matters of art. On the occasion of the Gabriel exhibition, Mr Diplaros demonstrated his expertise in religious painting with the finesse of an unopened tin can.
He began, as a moralist, by publicly scolding a fake painting and eventually reached the point of calling for the closure of an entire art exhibition. His supporters, however, are said to be delighted, as he will be leaving Parliament in May and can finally devote himself full-time to his true passions: order and morality.
He will remain, we are certain, in public memory as Enthymio Diplaros. Not as the politician who took on corruption, nor bureaucracy. But as the politician who took on paintings. And won.
Firefighter of the Year
The award is jointly presented to Minister of Agriculture Maria Panayiotou and Minister of Justice Marios Hartsiotis, for the coordination they achieved in extinguishing the major wildfire in the wine-producing villages last summer.
The devastating July 2025 fire in Limassol’s wine villages burned an estimated 100–125 square kilometres (10,000–12,500 hectares), severely affecting the viticultural zone and destroying grasslands and sclerophyllous vegetation.
The award is also, in effect, shared with the general coordinator of the fires, namely the Director General of the Ministry of Agriculture, who was absent at the time due to travel in Australia.
Christian Taliban 2025
Elected unanimously is the immovable, God-appointed leader of ELAM, Christos Christou. Over the past year, he emerged as the defender of our sacred faith on two fronts.
First, as acting overseer of the Metropolis of Tamasos. During his tenure, he reportedly spent nights at the Metropolis counting cash from the safes of former Abbot of Avvakoum Monastery, Nektarios. He counted hundreds of thousands of euros collected through the production of fake Holy Myrrh, allegedly used for healing the sick.
Second, as an art critic, leading the fight to have the Gabriel exhibition removed from a gallery in Paphos on the grounds that it offended his personal sense of the sacred and the holy.
The ELAM leader, club in hand for beating migrants, lives -as is well known- by the triptych: nation, religion, family.
Honorary Foreign Minister Award 2025
Awarded to Nikos Christodoulides following a vote among members of the diplomatic service. He won by a landslide, 80–0, in an open ballot overseen by Ms Karsera.
Diplomats bestowed the award on the flying Nikos Christodoulides for his tireless efforts, travelling the world in his legendary aircraft in pursuit of improved diplomatic relations and the international support necessary for the liberation of our small occupied homeland.
Admittedly, some issues have fallen far behind due to his constant travel. But who really cares if Cyprus runs out of electricity and water in 2026, when compared to the international grandeur the country now projects. His frequent flyer miles will, of course, be redeemed after the end of his term in 2028.
Promising Politician Award
Awarded to Odysseas Michaelides for his tireless efforts to succeed as a party boss.
After years in the public sector, operating from a position of safety, Mr Michaelides entered the political marketplace in earnest, seeking supporters who might carry him into Parliament and, depending on percentages, perhaps beyond.
Should he exceed 10 percent, he may even enter the presidential race, his long-standing ambition. If he falls below that threshold, he will simply become another leader of a state-funded party, audited annually by the Auditor General of the Republic, Andreas Papaconstantinou, over the use of public subsidies.
Archivist of the Year 2025
The award goes to Anna Aristotelous, also known as Mama Anna, for her exemplary filing and classification of thousands of documents belonging to the Police, the Ministry of Justice, and the Central Prisons, found in the home of a senior prison officer in late 2022.
According to an investigation, several other prison officers and Central Prison employees were also involved. They will receive commemorative plaques for their professional handling of documents, some of which turned out to be classified.
Judas Iscariot Award
Awarded to former senior official of the Audit Office and close associate of the former Auditor General, Andreas Hasapopoulos, who betrayed his former master.
Mr Hasapopoulos was among the founding members of Odysseas Michaelides’ ALMA party. When he realised that the party’s leadership no longer wanted him, he began publicly revealing the deeds and misdeeds of the former Auditor General, whom he accused of operating a supportive website and issuing instructions on whom to attack and ridicule day and night.
Mr Hasapopoulos did not act for silver coins like Judas. His behaviour more closely resembled that of the well-known Pontian performer.
Lost Investor Award
Jointly awarded to APOEL and Apollon Limassol for the investors promised to their supporters. Investors who were seen, but never touched.
Both clubs came close to ownership changes over the summer, but the investors disappeared midway. No Brazilian investors materialised. Nor did Greg Gabriel appear at Apollon, despite desperate efforts by the club’s vice president.
Whether they will resurface in 2026 remains doubtful. In the meantime, Prodromos Petridis and Nikos Kirzis are searching for new partners to share the burden. What is certain is that, even without investors, both teams changed coaches.
Hot Air Award
Awarded to former Energy Minister George Papanastasiou.
During his three years in office, not only did natural gas fail to arrive in Cyprus, but the public was fed, day and night, with promises that gas was coming tomorrow, or the day after. In the end, all we got was the gas from bean soup.
This particular legume produces turbo gas. Enter the sea and suddenly you turn into a speedboat and find yourself at the buoy.
Where Were You Last Year Award
Awarded to the new leader of EDEK, Marinos Sizopoulos’s chosen successor, Mr Anastasiou, whom Sizopoulos retrieved from political mothballs to lead Cyprus’ Socialists.
Although a decent and well-mannered politician, Mr Anastasiou has yet to achieve his stated goals, namely to bring back party cadres either expelled by Sizopoulos or who left of their own accord.
They did not return last year. Perhaps they will this year.