We don't care if you're Gen Z, Alpha or a Millennial. Whether you're a nomad, a tourist or a visitor, manners are manners. Where you visit, people live. Where you stay, people work. So be kind, be respectful, and let's go through what we hope you were taught, but had better start doing.
AT THE HOTEL
Speak up, politely
Etiquette says complaints should be handled courteously, but they should still be raised. William Hanson, director of The English Manner institute in London, says Brits often mistake politeness for being a pushover. Discretion: if the towel is dirty or the room hasn't been cleaned by evening, say so, clearly and calmly, rather than staying silent and writing a scathing review afterwards.
Treat staff like people, not functions
Etiquette says hotel staff deserve the same respect as anyone else in any industry. Discretion: use their name. Most wear name badges for a reason, and if they introduce themselves, remembering and using their name signals that you see them as a person rather than a function, something Hanson says consistently earns better service in return.
A good review is a gift
Etiquette says reviews exist to praise as much as to complain. Discretion: if the pain au chocolat was excellent or the staff went out of their way for an elderly relative, say so publicly. Hanson notes that for every ten negative hotel reviews, there are roughly a hundred positive experiences that were never written down.
The corridor is not your living room
Etiquette says hotel corridors should stay quiet at all hours. Discretion: remember that guests may be sleeping during the day, not just at night, particularly after overnight work or travel. A child running and shouting down a hallway at 3pm can disturb someone who checked in exhausted at dawn.
Souvenir or theft? There's a line
Etiquette says small amenities, cotton pads, sewing kits, nail files, slippers, are fair game to take home. Discretion: hairdryers, towels, bedding and robes are not souvenirs, they're theft. Many hotels now use refillable wall-mounted dispensers specifically to prevent guests taking bottles, a signal worth respecting even where bottles are still provided loose.
Let the concierge do their job
Etiquette says lugging your own suitcase down a carpeted hotel corridor isn't necessary, that's what porters and concierge staff are for. Discretion: call ahead and ask for luggage assistance before checkout. It isn't overstepping, it's the service the hotel is charging for, and declining it doesn't make you more considerate.
ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT
Offering your seat
Etiquette says offer your seat to anyone who needs it more than you. Rupert Wesson, director of etiquette advisers Debrett's, says the hard part is judging who that is. Discretion: don't make a show of it, catch someone's eye or half-rise without immediately stepping aside, so the person who needs the seat can take the cue without being singled out. Assuming women automatically need a seat is outdated; assess the actual situation instead.
Feet, shoes and personal grooming
Etiquette says feet do not belong on seats, in shoes or without. Laura Akano, founder of Polished Manners, calls a shared seat "not an extension of your sitting room." The same logic extends to grooming: brushing hair, clipping nails or doing a full face of makeup in public are all considered inappropriate by both Akano and Hanson. Discretion: a quick lipstick touch-up is fine, a full beauty routine is not, and neither is nail care of any kind, that should happen before you leave home.
Aisle seats, tables and reclining
Etiquette says you can take the aisle seat, sit alone at a four-person table, or recline your seat, all of it is fair game. Discretion: be ready to move for someone reaching the window, offer to shift if a group boards and wants your table, and check who's behind you before reclining, ideally not during food or drink service, and always slowly.
Children and pets
Etiquette says dogs generally shouldn't sit on seats, and children shouldn't be left to roam freely. Hanson says a dog on a blanket might be tolerable outside busy periods, but allergies and other passengers' comfort come first. Discretion: a curious toddler saying hello to fellow passengers can be charming, but remember, as Wesson puts it, that nobody finds your child quite as adorable as you do, and rein in the noise and chaos that comes with it.
Personal space and bodily mishaps
Etiquette says accidental contact deserves an apology, manspreading deserves a polite nudge back, and dribbling on a stranger's shoulder deserves a gentle wake-up. Discretion: keep it factual and light, "I'm so sorry, but you were dribbling on me," works better than ignoring it. For manspreading, Hanson's rule of thumb is no wider than a tennis ball between the knees, and a pointed shift of your own knee usually gets the message across without confrontation.
Sweat, sunscreen and other hygiene calls
Etiquette says consideration for others matters more than any hard rule. Discretion: sweaty after a night out on a near-empty night bus, understandable. Sweaty after a gym session at rush hour, less so. Sunscreen is fine in small amounts rubbed in by hand, but spray application affects everyone around you and should be avoided.
Eating, drinking and headphones
Etiquette says loud, smelly or messy consumption is inconsiderate in a shared space. Hanson jokes that on a packed commuter train, nothing bigger than a mint is appropriate, and singles out oranges as particularly antisocial to eat. Discretion: alcohol is fine where legal and if it doesn't get loud. For headphone volume, a polite, slightly pointed "excuse me, I don't think your headphones are connecting" tends to land better than a direct confrontation.
Talking, phones and personal boundaries
Etiquette says speakerphone conversations are never acceptable, and reading someone else's phone, book or crossword over their shoulder is a hard no. Discretion: if you must take a call, step between carriages and keep it brief. If you want out of a conversation with a chatty stranger, pulling out a phone or book signals the end more politely than saying so directly.
Source: BBC; The Guardian
