That was the question that echoed throughout the powerful stage performance “Matziellemenes”. After the show, a raw and deeply emotional discussion took place between the audience and representatives from the Association for the Prevention and Handling of Violence in the Family (SPAVO).
In a tucked-away arcade in Old Nicosia, around thirty women of varying ages gathered - to listen, to speak, and to share. Some recounted personal stories of witnessing other women, friends or neighbours, being abused. One of us. Their voices carried a hint of defeat - not because they didn’t care, but because they hadn't known how to help, or hadn’t done enough to stop the harm or bring the abuser to justice. But behind that sense of loss was also a fierce determination: “Next time, I’ll do it right. I’ll know what to do.”
Breaking the cycle of violence
That’s why we went. Not to learn what violence looks like; we know that all too well. It’s etched into us. We went to learn what we can actually do. To break the cycle of gender-based violence that keeps repeating. Among the crowd, a few men sat quietly. The so-called “sensitive ones”, as society likes to label them, as though it’s a flaw. They too had questions. “We’re a firefighter society,” one said - always arriving after the flames have consumed everything.
They asked how they could help if they came across violence: in the street, next door, in their social circles. Because no one is immune. But can empathy be built? That might have been the evening’s key takeaway: that awareness leads to prevention, and prevention to action. It’s as though we’re talking about a disease. And in truth, we are. A societal disease - one that affects mostly women, but not only. It hurts children. It hurts men too - though far less often. But this evening was for the women. For the matziellemenes.
Has anything really changed?
Matziellemenes is a theatre piece with two female protagonists. A story about all the things we pretend we’ve “fixed”, but that still weigh heavily on us. Femicide. Patriarchy. Gender inequality.
Three different narratives - glimpses into the struggles women once faced - unfold through the two lead characters. You start to wonder: has anything really changed? And if you think hard enough, you’ll realise these stories aren’t so different from today’s headlines. The play’s structure evokes the tragic, often silenced figures of Cypriot society and nudges you to seek out the real texts behind the stories, to uncover the cursed histories and draw your own conclusions through a fresh lens.
The roles were performed by Andrea Mavrou and Ioanna Athanasiadou, with the script written by Giorgos Papaconstantinou. All three took part in the post-performance discussion, alongside Georgia Gerolemou, psychologist and head of SPAVO’s counselling services.
The reality
In Cyprus, just in 2025, two femicides occurred within the span of eight weeks.
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Irina Papakitsa, 34, from Greece, was murdered on 17 August in her home in Chlorakas, in front of her 14-year-old son, by her partner.
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Afsaneh Mohammadi, 58, from Iran, was murdered on 1 October in her home in Pera Chorio, in front of her 40-year-old daughter, by her ex-husband.
Over the past five years, 22 femicides have been recorded in Cyprus. Globally, the UN reported in 2023 that 140 women are murdered every day. Notably, although femicide was recognised as a distinct crime in Cyprus in 2022, no man has yet been convicted under this charge.
'Love doesn’t kill'
During the discussion, SPAVO’s Georgia Gerolemou emphasised the vital role of art in highlighting pressing social issues like femicide and gender-based violence. “We shouldn’t still need to talk about these things,” she said, pointing out how women remain disproportionately affected by abuse. That’s why recognising femicide as a distinct legal offence was necessary.
Femicide, she explained, is the most extreme and tragic outcome of prolonged abuse. “By the time a woman reaches the point of no return, she’s already asked herself a thousand times why no one helped her, why no one believed her.” And while there has been progress, society still struggles to respond in meaningful ways.
“Love doesn’t kill, doesn’t hit, doesn’t humiliate,” she stressed. Many victims, she said, don’t realise they are being abused, especially when the violence isn’t physical. Verbal, psychological, financial and sexual abuse, particularly within marriage, are often overlooked. Through counselling, many women begin to recognise just how much they’ve endured.
Responsibility, Gerolemou added, lies with all of us. “If we see or suspect something, we must act,” she urged, encouraging people to call 1440 or the police. Referring to the Proteas programme, which supports perpetrators seeking change, she concluded: “Silence makes us complicit.”
Hoping not to become the perpetrator
There was also some criticism, mainly over the fact that a man had written a play on such a deeply female subject. Actress Andrea Mavrou addressed this, explaining that the aim was never to “create division” between men and women, but to open up space for conversation and reflection on the causes behind the violence.
Writer Giorgos Papaconstantinou added: “What matters is whether each of us can stand up to this reality - whether you’re a victim or simply hoping not to become the perpetrator.”
The atmosphere remained charged until the very end - a night of heavy truths, uncomfortable reflection, and one persistent fear: that any one of us could be next.
Note: As I wrote this article, my spellchecker kept underlining “femicide” in red - a reminder that even the software doesn’t recognise the word yet.
Helpline: 1440
SPAVO was founded in 1990 and has since become the leading organisation in Cyprus for preventing and addressing domestic violence. In 1997, it opened the first shelter for abused women. In 2016, it inaugurated its first privately-owned refuge and emergency support centre. The 1440 helpline now operates 24/7, offering immediate support.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, services were expanded to include live chat, SMS support, and additional housing facilities. SPAVO works closely with state and non-governmental organisations to protect victims. Citizens can also contribute, either through material donations or training programmes that encourage more active roles in prevention and advocacy.