As is well known, Emperor Nero was mad. Part of Nero’s madness involved a belief that he was a talented musician. He was not. In 67/68 AD, encouraged by his flatterers, Nero toured Greece. He organised music competitions and chariot races winning them all, of course, and setting Olympic records. In a particular performance in Athens, people were herded to the theatre. Dignitaries had the dubious honour to sit in the front row to listen to a madman howl tuneless nonsense for days. The gates were locked and women reportedly gave birth in the theatre. The audience was stuck there having to cheer in adulation to the madman go on and on. Some exhausted Athenians managed to leave by feigning emotional ecstasy that caused them to lose consciousness.
On 20 February 2026, a select number of world leaders, “the greatest leaders”, according to Trump, stood in front of the logo of the Board of Peace. It resembles that of the UN except that the middle had the map of the United States at its centre and was gold. Trump has insisted that the Board does not want to replace the UN but act as some kind of supervisor to it.
The inauguration of the Board was opened by our modern-day Nero, hammering a golden gavel, followed immediately by a blast of YMCA. Mercifully, the greatest leaders were not instructed to act out the letters.
The family photo was opened with the tune of Gloria. Who is nostalgic now?
During the family photo, Trump said, “I think we have to smile.” They smiled instantly.
Trump asked, “Does everybody like the music?” and again, instantly the adoring great world leaders responded “yeah” though not quite in unison. One of them said, “YMCA” and another responded, “Yes, YMCA”. In fact, at the time what was playing was, “November Rain” by Guns and Roses. The crowd is clearly trying too hard.
None tried harder than Argentina’s Milei who mimed into his microphone and embraced Victor Orban encouraging him to dance along- what a guy? Of course, as Argentina got US$20 billion from the Trump administration, how can Milei resist singing and dancing, even if he has to pay US$1billion back to get on the Board of Peace.
The “Observers” were not subjected to this honour, but our national observer was subject to much worse.
In front of great leaders and great observers alike and the world’s press who Donald Trump called “amazing” (not his usual word for the press), he singled out a particular one. Trump said “This gentleman has one of the most powerful armies anywhere in the world. It’s even more powerful than he even lets known. If you look at some of the recent conflicts, he was at the top of them and he was winning them and he did win them and he doesn’t want any credit. He doesn’t want anything. He just wants to be left alone. He is a tough cookie, but he has been my friend and every time I have ever needed him, he has been there for me, so I just want thank President Erdogan. Thank you. When NATO has a problem with him, because he is difficult, they call me. They say, ‘Would you do me a favour would you speak to Erdogan?’ and I do and he never fails us. He’s amazing. I just want to thank you for the friendship. That’s good thank you very much.”
The tough cookie had issued an arrest warrant against Benjamin Netanyahu while Trump had sanctioned the prosecutor of the International Criminal Court for doing the same. Erdogan is not one of the ones who smiles on cue, and he does not dance to anyone’s tune.
There is no exit from this theatre now that we are in with Observer status. Let us hope we are not observed too much ourselves and that the Chairman does not try to apply his deal making skills to our country or even attempt to supervise the UN.
Thankfully, Trump after listening to a number of speeches, dozed off, bored of peace.
Michael J Harakis
Advocate and Arbitrator
24 February 2026