Yesterday I had a fight with my daughter. I was so frustrated that I had to calm down before picking her up from dance class. So I did the only thing that calms me down. And no, it is not spending money. Although, that is how it ended.
Plants, pots and a €360 bill
Not the only thing, but one of the most calming things for me is being around plants, flowers and beauty. So I went to a plant shop. I left with new pots, new plants, soil and a €360 bill. True story.
I feel ashamed. I feel stupid. I feel broke. But it is true. And yes, I did feel better, right after feeling terrible for destroying my tiny savings of the month on freaking, but beautiful, pots.
If I could have bought them online without ever paying for them or getting them, it would have been so much better. Confused? Let me help you.
Welcome to dopamine sites
I learnt about dopamine sites and I am delighted. The trend started in South Korea, and the idea is simple. These websites copy the online shopping experience step by step, but no real transaction ever takes place. You browse, you compare, you fill your basket and you go all the way to checkout. On some, you can even follow the progress of a delivery that does not exist. You know from the start that you will get nothing. You enjoy the process anyway.
Need a Hermès Birkin? On Dopamine Shop, there is one for $12,500. Sold. Bought. Not paid. Never received. But the feeling of offering something to myself when nobody else can? That I get to keep.
Is it stupid? Yes. Is it shallow? Yes. Does it fall straight into the first-world problem category? Absolutely. But hey, sometimes it is what a person needs to get through the day.
Why it works
It turns out my brain is not that hard to fool. The pleasure comes from the expectation of getting what we want, and dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a key role in the brain’s reward system, is part of that process. Browse, fill the basket, reach checkout, and the brain gets its treat. You get the shopping experience. You skip the financial cost.
The catch
Dr Anna Lembke, professor of psychiatry at Stanford University and author of Dopamine Nation, discussed the trend with The New York Times. She compared dopamine sites to a digital version of alcohol-free beer.
Fair enough. Alcohol-free beer can help you skip the consequences, but it can also keep the craving for the real thing alive. Whether these sites help people control their impulses or feed the desire for real shopping remains to be seen. Me? I will take my chances. It is cheaper than the plant shop.
Buying without spending: I have you covered, friends
This might be an opinion piece, but the Capricorn in me wants it to be useful too. So, need some examples of buying without spending? Here you go:
- Dopamine Shop Watches, designer bags, diamond rings. Put them in the basket, check out, done. Your bank account will never know.
- FoodNeverComes Order dishes from different cuisines, watch the bill go up and the delivery driver get closer. You might even get an automated call from the “driver”. The food, of course, never comes.
- FakeEats.com It promises to help you save money and cut down on food at the same time. Beat the craving, save the cash, skip the calories. I am not saying no.
- TripNeverLeaves. Plan a full trip, destination, flight, hotel, everything. Tokyo, Mount Fuji, and you never leave your sofa.
- The abandoned basket Fill your basket on a real shop’s website and close the tab. Delete your saved card first. Trust me on this one.
- Dream-house scrolling Sea-view villas. Furnish them in your head. Free.
- The plant shop without the card. Go, look, touch, smell, calm down. Leave the card in the car. I wish someone had told me yesterday.
- The screenshot wishlist. Screenshot everything you want. Look at it a month later. Half of it you will not even remember.
So, am I cured?
No. Will I go back to the plant shop? Obviously. But next time, the Birkin goes in a fake basket, the dinner never arrives, and my tiny monthly savings might actually survive the month.
Maybe.
